Relationships!
I can count the few great relationships I have and sometimes I wonder if that’s good or bad. Whether good or bad I believe at some point we must be completely truthful to ourselves. This is my truth. Whenever I’m for you I give 150%. If you need and I have, your good. This is also why I limit the amount of “friends”, I allow in my life. I don’t want to spread myself too thin. After all I’m married to my very best friend and that’s my #1 priority when it comes to relationships. The problem I notice when I have really close girlfriends is that they become jealous of other relationships and I don’t know how to rationalize all that emotion and so I back out. One of my longest relationship with my ex-best friend, ended because I felt that we not only grew apart, but she no longer was the person I knew and I wasn’t the friend she needed at the time. She wanted someone to tell her the lifestyle she lived was ok. That it was excusable and I can’t lie or pretend to the ones I love and so it began to quickly fizzle. She wasn’t capable of balancing her relationship with me while dating. She would only draw close to me when she was heartbroken and after awhile that just didn’t work for me. I love her dearly and she’ll always have a place in my heart, but I felt like I needed to let her go for her to really find herself. Needless to say if she ever calls, I’ll be right here. Another amazing friend of mine, which was kinda awkward when our friendship ended. For her I knew she loved me because she was there for tremendously when my now husband and I were dating and separated. She was my rock. However when we got back together her relationship with her boyfriend started to feel like a competition with what I was trying to build with mine. It became obvious that they were competing instead of us learning from each other. This definitely led me to start having the natural relationships I was quickly forming. All of which included folks at least 10yrs older than I am. Which are so normal and natural that age doesn’t play a role or becomes an issue. I do know having a relationship with Christ plays an important role in the key relationships I now have. With Christ in them theirs no limit. Because of their relationship with him, it allows me to grow even more and realize my bad qualities as a friend. These are obviously my sides of the story and I’m well aware that theirs might be different . I forgave. Now that I’m writing this I don’t think I’ve ever expressed these feelings completely to them and maybe that needs to be apart of my healing process to grow more has a better person. This letter all started because of a recent fall out with my sister, who because I’ve always been truthful and extremely vocal in voicing my feelings. Didn’t realize how much I was hurting her, even if I didn’t like the decisions she was making. Even if I felt she changed completely and wasn’t capable of balancing our friendship. I hurt her because sometimes, this I’m learning, as a friend sometimes you just need to listen, be a shoulder and more importantly sometimes you have to step AWAY. Give that person room to adjust. We aren’t going to have all the answers as friends. Even if I don’t understand her decision and I might never. But I need to step away, let go and allow the same God we both serve to work and repair. To restore. Now the hardest revelation is this. Restoring relationships may mean that they will never be the SAME! They might get better or even fade. But we aren’t God and should never judge, just love like Christ did. More importantly we need to PRAY. Pray for each other and the things you don’t like. Not to work in your favor, but that God will do what’s best. So has I embark on a journey to restore and let go, or continue to build these relationships. I will now focus on the most important one…my marriage and Praise God for his complete coverage of it.
Letting go and allowing Christ in every area of my life, ultimately all our relationships should bring him glory!ππππππππππππββββββββββββββββπππππ
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is .- James 5:16
SIGNED: BUTTERFLY